Opening of World’s Longest Tunnel is Mysteriously Bizarre

The opening ceremony of the Gotthard Base Tunnel – the world’s longest and most expensive tunnel in history – was attended by Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany, President Francois Hollande of France, Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi … and a Goat-Man. Not to mention a flying baby with a giant head, ghosts, marchers carrying animal skulls and enough other bizarrely dressed actors and strange floats to give conspiracy theorists fearing Satanic and/or New World Order takeovers enough to talk about for years. What was going on?

The Gotthard Base Tunnel through the Swiss Alps took 17 years and over 11 billion Euros ($12.5 billion US) to build and was intended to improve transportation as well as be a symbol of European unification. The opening ceremony was created by German director Volker Hesse, a traditional theater director who was recently in charge of the William Tell Theatre Festival and is not known to be a member of the Illuminati or any satanic cult.

However, his tunnel opening ceremony production (which cost $9 million and used 600 performers) would have made Michael Jackson jealous and probably had many cult leaders sending him employment applications. While each of the individual performances had a real world connection to the building of the tunnel, it would have taken a program the thickness of a phone book to explain them…….